Friend 1: Hey, this is an interesting thought. *kicks me in the ‘nads*

Me: Hey, could be, but I’d be a little more willing to listen if you hadn’t kicked me in the ‘nads.

Friend 2: Hey, stop making it all about you! *kicks me in the ‘nads*

Me: Well, you guys could stop kicking me in the ‘nads and I might consider that.

Friend 2: See? You’re making it all about you again! You’re ignoring my pain!

Me: Ok, it’s not about me. Help me understand your pain.

Friend 1: You’re really starting to annoy me with this. *kicks me in the ‘nads*

Friend 2: Thanks for finally listening. *kicks me in the ‘nads*

Me: Y’know, kicking me in the ‘nads isn’t helping me understand here.

Asshole stranger attempts to kick Friends 1 and 2 in the ‘nads.

Me: Hey! Don’t kick my friends in the ‘nads!

Friend 2: Way to bring the attention away from me again! *kicks me in the ‘nads*

Me: fml. *kicks self in the ‘nads*

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