The Writing is on the Wife

Sexy Hand

Sexy Hand

I love my wife.

That is all.

The Fix Is In

Pittsburgh Hockey LeagueIt’s pretty obvious. Goaltender Martin Biron has his stick deliberately trapped against the wall by a Penguin, ref not ten feet away and staring straight at it, and has to go back to the net empty-handed. A few seconds later, of course the puck is in the net. No interference call? That sucks, but the NHL is infamous for the worst officiating of all the major American professional sports.

Minutes later, Goaltender Marc-Andre Fleury is behind his net, and when a Flyer taps him while trying to avoid him, it’s a tripping penalty (worthy of an Oscar).

In the last two minutes of the first period the Penguins are finally called for their very first penalty. The color announcer has the shear chutzpa to make a sideways remark about the consistency of the officiating – but implies that the Penguins are getting the short end of the stick. Hello? Are you watching the same game I am? The play by play announcer was silent for a moment. I think his head asploded, and it took a few minutes to recover. In my mind, I can just see the blank, blinking face, trying desperately to process the stoopid.

I hate whiny fans. I’ve never been a fan of NHL officiating, and it’s never ever been worth a shit, but I’ve always felt it was fairly not worth a shit. If the officials are neutrally crappy, then they become like a chip in the ice, a pain in all asses equally, and I’ve always felt the NHL officials were just that – neutrally crappy.

I’ve changed my mind. Put me with the whiny fans. The NHL should change its name to “Pittsburgh Hockey Business Association”, or do the fake wrestling thing and run with “National Hockey Entertainment”. It’s been rumored that the NHL will make sure the young Pittsburgh phenom Sidney Crosby is in the cup round in order to sell more tickets, but I hadn’t given that rumor much credence until today.

The Flyers are down 3 games to 1, as they’ve been without both of their top defensemen since game one. Their number one defenseman, Kimmo Timonen, is back today. They’re down two three four five goals to none in this game, and if they don’t win, they’re done. It’ll be damned near impossible to win this, given that they have to play against the Penguins and the NHL, so here’s my thinking about the situation: they’re going to screw you, screw them back. Just start ending officiating careers. Check the zebras right into the emergency room and go drink some beer.

Further update: The Flyers put one in, and damn if the officials didn’t call it off. No goal, for no apparent reason. Fuck ’em. Up.

Final Update:  Well the final score was 6-0.  They’re certainly being more generous and sportsmanlike about it over at The700Level than I can be right now.  There’s plenty of reason for optimism for next season, but I’m not there yet.  I’m still pouting and bitching like a scorned school-boy.  Maybe I’ll feel better next week.  Maybe I’ll feel better when the Detroit Red Wings kick the crap out of the Penguins.  (The Wings are up 3 games to 2 in their series against the Dallas Stars.)  Or maybe I just need to kick someone in the shin.

From whence came the art:

I fixed that ref’s uniform for the NHL. They needn’t thank me.

Win Or Go Home

So the Flyers, without their top two defensemen (Kimmo Timonen is out with some weird blood clot thing since the end of the Canadiens series, Braydon Coburn took a puck to the eye in the second minute of game two one, requiring 50 stitches), are down 3 games to none. They’re in Philly tonight, so it’s actually “Win Or Stay Home”.

Deep into the first period, the boys are playing much better than they have, and they’re up 2-0. They can do it, and they can even come all the way back, but they’ve dug a deep hole. It won’t in any way be easy, especially given that hockey is such a team mate-dependent sport.

But they can do it. C’mon boys, one game at a time. Come back with a Vengeance.

Au Revoir, Les Habitants

NHL.com\'s Frozen Moment For 5/1/08, by MPR529In the final minute, Mike Knuble slammed the door on the Montreal Canadiens with an empty net goal and sent the Habs home for the summer. After trailing 3-1 in the middle stanza, the Flyboys scored three goals in just under three minutes to go up 4-3. The Canadiens wouldn’t go down without a fight however, and tied it up at four in the third period. With less than five to go, Scotty Upshall deflected a shot from Jeff Carter to score what would be the game winner before Knuble sealed the deal on the Canadiens’ season.

After having his bell rung repeatedly throughout the series, Montreal goalie Carey Price had been pulled in the previous game in favor of Jaroslav Halak. As can be seen in the photo to the right, Halak faired no better against Philadelphia snipers. Showing all the guts of a future champion, the rookie Price returned to his place between the pipes last night with a brand new catching glove. Hoping the new glove would bring him better luck in the area where the Flyers had victimized him so badly all series, young Price started the game with determination and made several good saves early on. His resilience was no match for The Orange and Black though, who lit the lamp six times.

It was an exciting game to finish off the series. The Flyers won four straight games after the top seeded Habs took game one in overtime.

They now await the winner of the Penguins/Rangers series to see who they face in the Conference finals. Pittsburgh leads that series three games to one, and they’ll mix it up with New York this afternoon on the left side of the Keystone State. Look for the Pens to close it out, and make this a Turnpike series.

UPDATE: See you in Pittsburgh.

After having finished last season dead last in the NHL and with the worst record since the team’s inception in 1967, the Flyers are certainly Back With A Vengeance.

From whence came the art:

That image is titled NHL.com’s Frozen Moment For 5/1/08, by MPR529.

The Hockey Gods Reward You

“…but I give him so much credit because he has just kept playing as hard as he could every shift and when you do that, very often the Hockey Gods reward you.”

Buh Bye Caps

Playoffs Center Ice, by The700LevelIt was game seven.

It was tied three games to three.

The score was two to two.

It was overtime.

It was win or go home.

The Caps went home.

Buh bye Washington Capitals. See you next year.

Next up: The Habs.

That image is titled Playoffs Center Ice, by The700Level

HDTV and My Blood Pressure

Planet Earth, Screenshot from the Planet Earth Website

Yes, I realize I’ve not posted about the end of the football season, and I’ll get to that. I’m actually working on some highlight video to accompany that post, and don’t have all the source material yet…In the meantime…

Crap. Crap, crap, CRAP!

Y’know what sucks? Y’know what really makes my blood boil?

HDTV.

Ok, so my wife usually watches the idiot box in the living room, and I in the bedroom. Mostly that’s just a case of we don’t usually enjoy the same type of programming. I’m not into ChickTV, which involves mostly men cheating on their wives and trying to kill them but somebody gets terminal cancer and everybody copes. Does nothing for me. She on the other hand, is not into spaceships blowing up hideous aliens who attempt to impregnate humans by sticking large slimy tentacles down their throats and then feeding on their dismembered carcasses. I don’t understand how that doesn’t thrill her, but I suffer in silence.

Problem: The living room TV has been on its last legs for well over a year now, the picture degrading to the point where reading the TVGuide thing or the score of the football game you are attempting to watch was an exercise in futility. The colors became redder and redder, bleeding one into the other to the point where the picture had become little more than an extreme close up of some orangy-red gelatinous substance.

Solution: Christmas is coming up, and well, duh.

(Continued below the fold.)

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