The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability

The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability

The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability

My book review of The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability: For all of us who live with disabilities, chronic pain & illness is now online at Sex in the Public Square.


The sexuality of disabled members of our society is perhaps one of the most closeted, or at least overlooked, topics in American public discourse. Rarely is the topic addressed even by the most strident of sex positive advocates. The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability was written to rectify this deficiency in our public square. The authors, Miriam Kaufman, M.D., Cory Silverberg, and Fran Odette, take a unique and personal approach to their mission by lacing the book with actual responses from a survey done by phone and internet. These survey responses faithfully guide the book toward its objective.

Read the rest at SitPS.

Nasty Nightmare

My Own Nightmare, by Infinity Rain @ FlickrSometimes a nightmare will inspire me, once I’m awake and look back at it. Not this one. It just scared the living crap out of me. Fortunately, I woke up before the end.

I needed some pain meds yesterday, after being four hours on my feet in the morning. The last three days, I’d been proctoring for the middle school End of Grade exams, so for the first time since I injured my neck, I’d been on my feet for an extended period without a break. Yesterday was the last day, so once I’d gotten the kids home from school I took a couple of muscle relaxers. I thought about the pain killer but decided to skip it. I haven’t had one in a while and didn’t want to get started taking them again. It’s a very addictive narcotic, and it makes my head all fuzzy.

The muscle relaxers kicked in and I crashed out about six last night. I slept straight through to 3AM, woke up for about an hour, and went back to sleep.

I awoke from the nightmare a few minutes ago. It started out pretty good, though. I was a new teacher and a group of really old black men with silver hair were teaching me to play the saxophone in the teachers’ lounge (which was outside on the deck in the forest, ’cause that’s where teachers’ lounges always go, right?). I stepped away for a moment to talk to my wife, and when I got back, the table, the men, and the sax were all missing.

It must have been late fall, because the ground was covered in orange leaves and the trees were bare. My wife and I went looking for the sax in the forest. I found it at the bottom of a little dry creek bed, caught in the top of a fallen tree. When I climbed into the thick tangle of branches to get it, I suddenly found that the tree was not a fallen one at the bottom of a creek bed, but a standing one at the tip of a long, skinny spit of land overlooking a deep gorge, and it was swaying (with me in it) out over the chasm. I shifted my weight a little when it swayed backwards toward the safe ground, and got it to crack and fall, dropping on top of me as I hit the ground.

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drunken blogging, by vanz @ FlickrBlogging Under the Influence.

Turns out that Blair really is Blair. She called earlier today, and we had a lovely interview about blogging drunk, although as I warned her, I’m not half as interesting on the phone as I am in print.

Janie thought it was a riot that of all the things for ABC News to call up little ol’ me and interview me about, inebriated rantings was what fate had in mind. Oh, and not the local guys here in town, we’re talkin’ ABC News from New York. Ok, that really is pretty funny, and I can laugh at myself.

I don’t really drink a lot, but the pain meds I’m on produce the same effect. So although I don’t blog drunk very often, I do in fact BUI all the time. In fact, I plan on B’ingUI a little later this evening. (Note: If I say something that you find offensive during that time, it really sucks to be you.)

And just to add one more funny-if-it-were-someone-else note, I sat back in my computer chair this afternoon after grocery shopping (my daughter drove, don’t worry), and wound up on my butt. Somehow, someway, Shakespeare Da Bard Dawg managed to remove a wheel from my chair without tipping it over. I have no idea where it is. That damned Retriever is too smart for his own good.

It’s been a very ungraceful day for me, but one of the funniest in recent memory.

If you have a funny drunken blogging story, or if you BUI, email me at loujamesdad AT yahoo DOT com, so I can put you in touch with Blair.  She’d like to talk to you.

::From whence came the art:

That image is called drunken blogging, by vanz on Flickr.::

Teenagers Bearing 6 AM Gifts

Breakfast In BedBreakfast in bed.

Sounds wonderful, right? I’ve always been a morning person, and watching the sun come up is one of life’s greatest pleasures. For most of my adult life, I’ve been God’s alarm clock. She’s a party Gal, and tends to stay out too late, drink too much, and arise hung over sometime in the mid-afternoon. There’s nothing wrong with any of those things of course, and I’ve always done the best I could as Early Morning Stand-In (EMSI or “MC” for short). Somebody has to keep an eye on the universe after all, and if she’s disturbed before noon after an all-nighter, bad things happen.

Remember that whole Noah/flood/genocide thing involving an ark? Man was that ugly. And Job never did that twice, let me just tell you. He learned the first time, too.

But since I’ve become disabled, I tend to have stints of pain that keep me up late, and that leaves me in bed with her drunk naked butt and whoever she brings home until well after dawn. There was one time she brought home the entire Greek pantheon. That bunch can be pretty bawdy when they’re plastered. Lots of fun, but annoying if you’re the only sober one in the bed.

Oh, sorry. Tangent there. Where was I? Oh yes, last night.

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Earth Mother – Tiki #4

I forgot to take pictures of Easter Island Bob before I delivered the first three tikis. (He’s styled like an Easter Island Moai… hence the name.) I’ll take pictures in between the dance this Friday and the party they’ve already got booked for the high school at the end of the year. Apparently, they’re celebrities already.Eath Mother Godess Idol

This one is the latest. I wanted to do a full body type of idol this time. As I carved him, he turned out to be a she. Hey, I just find them and set them free.

The pics don’t really show her headdress very well. It’s black feathers wrapped with braided hemp. I bought the beads and feathers and hemp at Michael’s, then made the skirt and stuff myself.

Eath Mother Godess Idol

She wound up (accidently, I swear!) with a very convenient knot. After she was done being carved, I decided I had better put a grass skirt on her.

You’ll note she’s pregnant.  It’s hard to tell in the pics.  Sorry.

Here’s what’s under the skirt.

Eath Mother Godess Idol

Tiki porn. Gotta love it.

On another note, the stuff for the new shed arrives tomorrow. I wasn’t really ready to tackle that project yet physically or financially, but the wind had different ideas.  Maybe I should make an idol to the wind god, and he’ll magically fix the shed and I won’t have to build a new one.  Anyways, I’ll be glad to get that behind me. Then I plan on laying in bed and crying like a damned school girl for a week or two.

Unless something else breaks.

Maybe then I can get UDoJ moving again.

I Walked Around A Little Today

Janie (the wife, not the alter ego) and I walked around Lowe’s and the Depot for a while today. I’ve got some ideas about the kitchen. I guess I’m feeling construction inspired now. I solved a lot of problems with a kitchen remodel in my head today, and went to check prices and stretch the legs a bit.

The counter top is what’s going to kill me. I had no idea how much they’d gone up in price in the last few years. The solution is to do a little of the kitchen at a time, I think. And the way I have the kitchen laid out on paper, I should be able to do that. I’ll go with the cheaper laminate counter top until it’s done, and then when I get the urge (and the bucks) I’ll replace the counter top all at once and put in a Corian or granite top in one shot.

There’s no drywall behind the paneling in the kitchen, so that means that even though I can work around the existing cabinets as far as layout goes, the cabinets will still have to come out so I can rip down all the paneling and drywall before anything else. Not looking forward to that, for sure.

I’m not physically ready to attack the kitchen yet anyway, I’m just working in my head and planning.

Meanwhile, as much as I despise our kitchen (I’ll remember to take “before” pictures this time), I have to fix the shed first. Crappy metal one and it’s falling down.

That’ll be another overdrive job, because once I start I’ll have to get it done before the next rainfall. Another week in bed afterwards, I’m sure. At least this is sort of our dry season, so the weather isn’t exacerbating my problems too much, and if I can get it done before the rains get more regular, that’ll give me a little more time.


Whattyagonna do? Home ownership has a price, and the price on a bargain of a house is that shit is broken and needs fixing and replacing.

I’m having trouble sitting in this chair still, so blogging won’t be much yet. At least I got the pictures in the last post fixed, and the spam boxes cleaned out.

Which brings me to another bitch, but I’ll let JanieBelle handle that one. Maybe tomorrow.

Hall Bath Pictures

Hall Bath
Ok, some pictures of the pimped out hall bath.

The pictures don’t really do it justice, I think. Of course, I’m biased.

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