It’s a recurring theme lately.
I’ve been wrestling with being down, maybe to the point of depression. I’m not a doctor, so I can’t rightly say, but it wouldn’t surprise me to hear such a diagnosis.
So I suppose it’s natural that among the questions my friends are asking me are two that keep popping up: “What do you want?” and its sister question, “What do you need?”
The second question is easy to answer now, but it took me a while to figure out. I need to be. I need to be sad, and I need for that to be OK. I am not ready to be happy today. I need you to listen, not try and make it better. I need your permission, I need your acceptance. I need a hug from you.
The first is not a hard question to answer, it’s just a hard question to feel allowed to answer. I know what I want. I can’t have it, but I know what I want. I can’t tell you about it, but I know what I want. I can’t express it generally in public on Twitter or Facebook even, but I know what I want.
Do you really want to know what I want? I hope you mean it when you say you do, because if you keep pressing me, I’m going to tell you. And you know what I’m going to say.
What I want is a fist full of your hair in one hand, a fist full of your breast in the other. What I want is to growl your name behind your ear and hear you whimper mine. What I want, right here and right now, is to sink my teeth into the back of your shoulder, and feel your warm, wet tears on the back of mine.
That’s what I want.
From whence came the art:
That image is titled Rough Day, by me, all rights reserved. You can purchase prints of my work at my print-shop on dA, or you can just hire me for your intimate or other portraiture needs.
August 6, 2010 at 9:17 pm
Teeth and hair and tears…
August 11, 2010 at 7:23 am
Indeed.
August 7, 2010 at 8:15 pm
*hug* from many miles away.
August 11, 2010 at 7:23 am
Thanks, Mandi. I need a lot of those these days.
August 8, 2010 at 9:34 am
Love you, dear. All the hugs electrons can carry.
August 11, 2010 at 7:23 am
I need every one of them, so keep them coming. I ❤ you, Steph.
August 8, 2010 at 7:47 pm
I can relate. Sometimes I want to bite the shit out of me too…
Seriously, though, feel what you feel. A lot of people want to say differently, but sometimes that’s what you need. If you need someone to talk to, you know how to get in touch with me. I may not be good for much, but I’m pretty good for that.
August 11, 2010 at 7:24 am
You are, Rystefn, and I appreciate that you still are.
August 11, 2010 at 5:43 am
It’s a great photo. Easy to relate to even though we can’t see the figure’s full face.
Glad you’re on dA.
August 11, 2010 at 7:22 am
Thanks, Glendon. Considering your renown as an artist, I am immensely flattered.
And thank you for the welcome at dA.
September 17, 2010 at 2:44 am
Hey Lou,
Great photo. Hope school is going well.
BWE
September 17, 2010 at 6:03 pm
Thanks, BWE!
I think it’s going very well so far, but I have my first Plant Phys exam on Monday. Let’s wait until after that before passing final judgment on how the semester is going so far! 🙂