Shorter

Friend 1: Hey, this is an interesting thought. *kicks me in the ‘nads*

Me: Hey, could be, but I’d be a little more willing to listen if you hadn’t kicked me in the ‘nads.

Friend 2: Hey, stop making it all about you! *kicks me in the ‘nads*

Me: Well, you guys could stop kicking me in the ‘nads and I might consider that.

Friend 2: See? You’re making it all about you again! You’re ignoring my pain!

Me: Ok, it’s not about me. Help me understand your pain.

Friend 1: You’re really starting to annoy me with this. *kicks me in the ‘nads*

Friend 2: Thanks for finally listening. *kicks me in the ‘nads*

Me: Y’know, kicking me in the ‘nads isn’t helping me understand here.

Asshole stranger attempts to kick Friends 1 and 2 in the ‘nads.

Me: Hey! Don’t kick my friends in the ‘nads!

Friend 2: Way to bring the attention away from me again! *kicks me in the ‘nads*

Me: fml. *kicks self in the ‘nads*

Posted in About. Tags: , , . 8 Comments »

8 Responses to “Shorter”

  1. Stephanie Z Says:

    I am very sorry for the pain I’ve caused you in this.

  2. Greg Laden Says:

    Wait, wait, wait, wait. Just a second here. Are you telling me that you do NOT want me to kick you in the nads? I fucking thought you said that you WANTED me to kick you in the nads!!!!

    You are one of my favorite people, Lou.

    If it would make you feel any better, go ahead. Have a shot. Kick me in the nads. Seriously, go ahead.

    • Lou FCD Says:

      See? Simple miscommunication.

      You’re one of mine as well, Greg, honestly and truly. I’m not interested in kicking you in the ‘nads.

      I think you’re saying some unnecessary, untrue, and unproductive things, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.

    • Lou FCD Says:

      Wow. I guess there just comes a time when you have to say to yourself, “Y’know, I don’t really like being kicked in the ‘nads by my friends. I think I’ll just go for a walk.”

      Given your latest post, I think this is such a time for me. Thanks for all the fish.

  3. Rystefn Says:

    Any time you need to vent with someone who won’t kick you… well, I’m not good for much, but I think I can handle that one.

  4. Storm Clouds « Crowded Head, Cozy Bed Says:

    […] we build and forge and release online. I was talking to a friend (one that hasn’t kicked me in the ‘nads) yesterday about why I don’t write as much as I used […]


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