Dear Onslow County Lady

Rude by _saturnine

Rude by _saturnine @ Flickr

…driving the silver Buick Rainier SUV with the four little ankle-biter rats dogs,

I’d like to take a moment to thank you.  I’m always grateful that there are some people in the county who obey the leash laws, and don’t allow their dogs to run free.  I always worry about dogs that aren’t on leashes.  Oh, not worry that they’ll bite me or anything, I worry about the dogs themselves.  I worry that they’ll run out in front of a car, or get lost, or picked up by the dog catcher.  I’m so glad you are enough of a concientious dog owner that you and your son keep all four of your dogs leashed while you walk them.  Kudos to you.

I’m also eternally grateful that you don’t bring them down my street and allow them to crap on my lawn instead of your own.  That’s so very considerate of you, and more considerate than a few people in my neighborhood.

However, if I may, please allow me to make one small observation.  Perhaps it’s not the best alternative to take them to White Oak High School and allow them to crap all over the fields where kids play and hang out, you ignorant fucking bitch.



From whence came the art:

That image is titled Rude by _saturnine and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 2.0 license.

11 Responses to “Dear Onslow County Lady”

  1. Thomas Brock Says:

    Dude, are you serious?

    I have the same problem at Jacksonville’s Riverwalk Park. Folks walk their dogs around in the grass and never ever clean up the leftovers. What’s really bad is that there are several garbage cans along the way…These clowns wouldn’t have to carry the crap back home, just toss it on the way.

    And don’t get me started on the litterers…Especially the folks that think Onslow County is their ash tray…Bah!

    Such putzes we live near, Lou…

  2. Lou FCD Says:

    Dead. Fucking. Serious.

    This very evening, while I’m dropping the boys off for practice, this lady comes tearing around the parking lot, all the way to the side furthest from the school (to the left if you’re standing on Piney Green Rd.). She and her son and four little dogs get out while I’m driving to the back practice field.

    I drop the boys off, and as I’m coming back through the lot, she and her boy each have two dogs, walking them. No bags, no nothing, not even a little bit ashamed. Like it’s their personal dog toilet.

    What the fuck?

    Dude, I am totally there. I’m a smoker, but I’ll field strip a butt and stick it in my pocket before I’ll toss it on the ground or out the window. I’ll rip somebody’s ass for that. It’s no wonder non-smokers hate us, most of us are a bunch of rude fucktards.

    Don’t even get me started on the fuckers on base for the Independence Day fireworks that leave their trash behind when they leave.

    Why not just go into someone’s living room and take a crap on their new carpet? When the Corps gets tired of cleaning up the mess and doesn’t allow civilians on post for the fireworks, it’ll be those self-same assholes bitching in the paper about “my tax dollars” blah blah blah.

    Nothing, but nothing, will piss me off like assholish discourteous shitheads. (‘cept maybe theocrats, but that’s sort of a subgroup of particularly assholish discourteous shitheads, isn’t it?)

  3. a.real.girl Says:

    “assholish discourteous shitheads.”

    might be my new favorite insult. It’s the “discourteous” that does it. So genteel.

  4. Emma Says:

    We have the same problem around here. I actually had some guy in a car stop in the middle of the street as I was cleaning up The Pooch’s mess and thank me for cleaning up because so many people don’t, especially around the soccer field at a nearby school.

    By the way, not only do we clean up after The Pooch, but we do it with biodegradable bags.

    Independence Day fireworks? Oh yeah. Not only is it completely illegal to set them off (any kind at all) in the City of Erie, for two or three days after, we find the sidewalks and streets around here covered with the remnants of the illegal fireworks.

    And cigarette litterers? Oy. Don’t get me stahted. I’m an ex-smoker and, you know, we’re the worst kind. 😉

  5. Lou FCD Says:

    A, I think it’s like a genteel sandwich on vulgar bread. 🙂

    Emma, it all boils down to basic common courtesy, doesn’t it? That’s becoming lost in our society, I think.

    Thanks for the link to the biodegradable bags. I didn’t know they made those, and since we make sure Shakespeare does his business in our own back yard before we ever take him for a walk, our bag supply lasts for months. Next time around, we’ll get those, though.

  6. Beth Says:

    dear assholish discourteous shithead (TM) dog owner who, when seeing my nine and six year old children literally climbing up me to reach a point of mythical safety, don’t, don’t, come closer with your mangy dog(s), claiming he/she/they/it is: “so friendly! Here, come on and pet him/her/it/them,” speaking over my polite yet firm admonishment that my children are, “phobic and allergic, please don’t come any closer.” And when I then tote my verging-on-hysteria, phobic, allergic, chronic health issue riddled children across the street, don’t you fucking dare follow us.

    *deep breath*

    Ya, know, Lou? That’s really rather cathartic. Thanks for the space.

  7. Lou FCD Says:

    Glad to be of service, Beth.

  8. Kevin Says:

    Nice, a dog rant.

    Dear asshole neighbor walking your dog down my street and letting him shit where ever he pleases, next time I see your mangy cur crapping in my front yard I’m going to beat the both of you with a wiffle ball bat. I’ve wanted to say that ever since I stepped in one of his “deposits” a couple of months ago.

  9. Lou FCD Says:

    Glad I could give you the opportunity, Kevin.

  10. april Says:

    My mom lives in Hubert NC and I live in VA near DC. she had a massive heart attack and 7 scares of Congestive heart failure since. she has a nw neighbor with a huge dog that has jumped thee fence tormentd the street killed a cat and now since they tie it up. But also now they aadded a puppy that they let run in the neighborhood from their yd to my moms and otherss. she is scard and to sick and unable to get upset to complain to talk about it. hat do I do. She now has to look out side and afraid to go to her car. I want to call animal control or a dog cather to go to th ownerss and tell them to control their animals or else. My mom wont and doesnt want me to complain because she is afrid it will come back to her with questions to upset her if I report it. what do I do. I do not know much about the city or county and calling from 7 hours away. Tell me what I can do [email addy redacted]

  11. Lou FCD Says:

    Hello April.

    First, thank you for your comment, and it’s a very good question. I’ll look into it this weekend for you, and touch base with you at the email address you listed as well as post the information here for anyone else who may want or need it.

    Second, I’ve redacted your email address to prevent spammers from bothering you. I have it, though, so don’t worry about that.

    I hope you’ll continue to visit here, and I hope your mom gets the peace of mind she needs.


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