Sunshine Behind The Trashcan

It's Too Soon, by Face It @ FlickrIt’s 11:30 on a Sunday night. I’m just catching up on a few blogs, and then I’m going to get ready for bed. My wife and daughter are in the living room veggin’ in front of the idiot box, the dog is laying in my spot on the bed all calm and peaceful for the first time in hours, and my son and his best friend are in the back yard in a tent. It’s summer time, so no school, I’m cool.

My wife sticks her head in the bedroom door and tells me there’s sunshine in the front yard behind the trashcan.

Why is this a problem, you ask? Well, two reasons. Most obviously, it’s 11:30 at night and there shouldn’t be any sunshine behind the trashcan in the front yard at 11:30 at night. Secondly, Sunshine is my son’s girlfriend, and there’s no damned way in hell she’s supposed to be behind the trashcan in the front yard at 11:30 at night.


I knew it would happen eventually, but geez. 11:30 at night? What the heck was she thinking wandering around alone that late at night? Oh, right. She’s a teenager, so of course she wasn’t thinking at all. Silly me.

Well, fortunately they were dumb enough to get caught and nobody was hurt.

My wife and I just delivered her back to her grandmother’s, where she’s spending the weekend. Conveniently, Grandma lives about a half mile from us, while Sunshine and her folks live on base, several miles away. At least she hadn’t walked all the way from there.

Parenting is such fun. Especially at 11:30 on a Sunday night. Needless to say the boys are in the house for the night, and there will be some serious safety discussions going on tomorrow.

If, of course, I can keep a straight face. Doofuses.

Goodnight, and grease for peace.

From whence came the art:

That photograph is titled It’s Too Soon, by Face It.

16 Responses to “Sunshine Behind The Trashcan”

  1. Diana Says:

    Man, ‘they’ just got younger and younger with this crap. I think I was 15 before I pulled a stunt like that, and I actually got a way with it. Did her Grandmom think she was sleeping at a friend’s house?

  2. Lou FCD Says:

    A. She is 15. He likes older women. 🙂

    B. Nope, snuck out the window after Grandma went to sleep.

    How’re the sinuses?

  3. Diana Says:

    Well let’s just say I wasn’t hanging out with someone younger at the time! But that was many moons ago.

    I still feel like crap. I think I had(have) a sinus infection. But I am gettting better so I’m being lazy and not calling the drs. Besides, they won’t give me anything anyways and I know the worst thing that happens with sinus infections is that they go away and the come back if untreated. And I think I can take something after the first trimester. So as long as I fight it for 8 more weeks, then I’m good.

  4. Elizabeth Wood Says:

    All I can think of is “Eww. Behind the trash can? Why on earth behind the trash cans??”

  5. Lou FCD Says:

    She heard the front door open, and was hiding.

  6. Elizabeth Wood Says:

    Don’t kids run any more?
    Seriously, though, I’d love to hear about your safety discussion. It’s not easy to teach impulse control, and yet you seem to have done quite well teaching difficult things to your kids. Kudos and good luck!

  7. Lou FCD Says:

    Nah, kids today are too lazy to run.

    The safety discussion is ongoing, as she hasn’t been back to the house since The Incident, and I want her present for the discussion. I guess she’s embarrassed and I understand that I suppose, but at least she wasn’t caught em-bare-assed. 🙂

    As for having done quite well, all I can say is no one has gotten pregnant or seriously injured thus far (unless you count the boxer’s fracture). If it stays that way and I get them both through college still breathing, I’ll consider my parenting a success.


  8. Diana Says:

    And that is the definition of good partening. Although I’ve done a lot of dumb things in my time I never got pregnant, injured, diseased, hospitalized or arrested. So basically when I did do something dumb at least I was doing it smart. ; ) Yeah, and your luck no bare ass was involved because that would have been hard to ad’dress’.

    What did her grandmother have to say when you guys returned her home?

  9. Diana Says:

    “Yeah, and your luck no bare ass. . . . . . ”

    I meant to say, “Yeah, and your lucky no bare ass. . . . . ”

    I’m tired, what can I say!

  10. Lou FCD Says:

    What did her grandmother have to say when you guys returned her home?

    After careful consideration and much appropriately contrite “yes sir”s and “no sir”s, we very generously gave them one single get out of jail free card, as an act of good faith and trust that future adventures would be preceded with better and more thoughtful judgement.

    Upon returning to Grandma’s house, Grandma was still sleeping, and Sunshine snuck back in the way she had come.

    I’m still a little uneasy about not bringing it up to her Mom, but if a bit of kindness will prevent a similar incident in the future, that’s really what matters. She’s safe and hopefully a little more enlightened and circumspect.

    Having been somewhat acquainted with her Mom via a couple conversations, I’m at least re-assured that she and I see things rather similarly about child rearing. She’s a rather delightful woman, very not fundy-religious-head-in-the-sand lady. A refreshing anomaly in this area. I trust that she would probably have done something similar had the situation been reversed.

    Plus, she’s a herpetologist, which is major cool.

  11. Diana Says:

    A what?? Are you saying she partakes, once in a while?
    And that was VERY nice of you guys. So I guess she planned on sneaking back in before Grandmom woke up. Amateurs!

  12. Lou FCD Says:

    No, not a HEMPatologist, a HERPetologist. Snakes. She studies snakes, silly.

  13. Diana Says:

    Now are we talking about the trouser snake?

  14. Lou FCD Says:

    Not as far as I’m aware, but as you are aware, my drugs make me pretty unaware.

    Trouser snake? Uh-where?

    Did I tell you about Johnny catching the fish with the trouser worm? Geez, that was some funny stuff right there.

    Have you been over to Sex in the Public Square?

    You’d make an interesting addition over there.

  15. Dateline Jacksonville, 3:30 AM « Crowded Head, Cozy Bed Says:

    […] no fire, no one creeping about the yard, the doorbell hasn’t rung.  There’s no Sunshine Behind the Trashcan (although it’d be a Gina at this point – relationships are kinda fluid at 13 I […]

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