Teenagers Bearing 6 AM Gifts

Breakfast In BedBreakfast in bed.

Sounds wonderful, right? I’ve always been a morning person, and watching the sun come up is one of life’s greatest pleasures. For most of my adult life, I’ve been God’s alarm clock. She’s a party Gal, and tends to stay out too late, drink too much, and arise hung over sometime in the mid-afternoon. There’s nothing wrong with any of those things of course, and I’ve always done the best I could as Early Morning Stand-In (EMSI or “MC” for short). Somebody has to keep an eye on the universe after all, and if she’s disturbed before noon after an all-nighter, bad things happen.

Remember that whole Noah/flood/genocide thing involving an ark? Man was that ugly. And Job never did that twice, let me just tell you. He learned the first time, too.

But since I’ve become disabled, I tend to have stints of pain that keep me up late, and that leaves me in bed with her drunk naked butt and whoever she brings home until well after dawn. There was one time she brought home the entire Greek pantheon. That bunch can be pretty bawdy when they’re plastered. Lots of fun, but annoying if you’re the only sober one in the bed.

Oh, sorry. Tangent there. Where was I? Oh yes, last night.

Wonder WomanIt sucks being a cripple. The constant balancing act between being in pain and being so doped up you don’t remember what day it is can be an exhausting exertion.

There are times I allow the pendulum to swing too far one way or the other, and last night I was far on the pain side. I found myself unable to sleep or even just rest.

I didn’t manage to get to sleep until after 5 AM, and when I finally did, I was having some pretty good superhero and fantasy art sex dreams. That’s a very rare treat, and probably yet one more indication of my less than complete grasp on reality. Going a few rounds with Wonder Woman, Rogue, and sundry scantily clad vixens may have been a result of the work I had been doing on a blog for the friend I mentioned a few posts ago.

Damn. There really is a point to this post, and I’ll get to it eventually.

Ok, breakfast… God… pain… 5AM… Rogue… hmm… Rogue…

Evolution, by ginielandAh yes. I’m back. Breakfast in bed. 6:30. Yes, at 6:30 my thirteen year old son woke me up to bring me breakfast and coffee in bed.

Now, as any parent in the world would tell you, the quite natural reaction is, “Whaddya want?”

Before I could really grasp the concept of the waffles and coffee however, my son headed me off at the pass. “I don’t want anything, so you know.”


“Is she pregnant?” I’m glad he took it the way I intended, which was in a joking fashion of course. He thought it was hilarious. In fact, he laughed a little too loud for my half-awake comfort.

Nah, though I’m sure that will be a credible concern in the not so distant future, I’m as sure as I could be (which is to say, not entirely but reasonably – you can never be entirely sure about these things…) that this wasn’t what was up.

Trojan HorseAnyway, I’m appreciative. Somewhat suspicious, but appreciative. It was a very kind gesture from my terrific son, ulterior motive or not…

But I’ve got my eye on him, just in case.

Well, I will have my eye on him when I return from the land of super heroines.

Oh, and P.S. – I’m so tired, it took me nine hours to write this post.

I need a nap.

Where the art comes from:

::Breakfast in bed, by jovike::

::Wonder Woman, by monkey.cl::

::Evolution, by ginieland::

::Trojan horse. Istambul Museum of Archaeology [sp. original] and was taken by Wikipedia Commons user deror avi on July 2005::

::All artwork on this post subject to Creative Commons license linked to from the respective artists’ pages::

12 Responses to “Teenagers Bearing 6 AM Gifts”

  1. Diana Says:

    Are you having dreams about me again?? : P

  2. Lou FCD Says:

    You know it baby! Tie me up and make me tell the truth!


  3. Martyn Says:

    So you do tangets. I feel for you, but you seriously do not want to be me. I do them all the time and it makes life very difficult. I am sorry you have so much physical pain to deal with but I hope you have meds which enable you to sleep. I cannot sleep unless I have drowned a large amount of alcohol. Nothing else works. It takes a large amount of money, endangerours my driving license, and is not good for my health.

  4. Lou FCD Says:

    Bah. I have the damned things, just hate using them. They mess me up for days on end.

  5. Martyn Says:

    What do you mean by “damned things”? If it is sleeping tablets, I know what you mean. I have to overdose by a factor of three or four to get any effect. And then I am almost comotose for the next day or so. Not good if I have to drive that day.

  6. Martyn Says:

    Got to leave another post. It pains me deeply when you describe yourself as a cripple. I know it is frustrating being limited by your physical disabilties. I am going through the same experience, so I can empathise with you. We both have active and inteligent brains and I hope despie our physical short comings we can contribute something useful to society through our thought processes. What say you?

  7. Lou FCD Says:

    Painkillers and muscle relaxers here. Doc says I’m to take them daily, but I just can’t. I walk around like a zombie.

    …and I say Kazaah!

  8. Martyn Says:

    What is Kazaah? Please explain.

  9. Lou FCD Says:

    Hi Martyn.

    It’s equivalent to “hurrah” or “yippee”, “Aye” or “Right On”.

  10. Martyn Says:

    Thanks Lou. You must be in to Scottish phrasiology if you are familiar with “Aye”.

  11. timmi Says:

    Ok … so … what about the superhero sex? Were there props? Superhero powers? And what about the waffles? Were they blueberry? Plain? Belgium? Did you dream about the superhero AND the waffles? Was there syrup?

  12. Lou FCD Says:

    A little bit of both English and Scottish mannerisms are still left in my family, Martyn. Just odd little things that I don’t think about until someone mentions them.


    I’ll have to consider my words carefully. My wife reads this blog from time to time, and I’d really rather not end up sleeping in the garage…


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