It had been a long time since I had lashed out in violent rage.  Years, as far as I can remember.  I had left violence and physical conflict escalation behind me with my youth.

Today, just a little while ago, I snapped.

I could bottle up no more, I was out of control with no desire to return to sanity.  IT had given me all I could take.  Years of to and fro, back and forth, frustration, rejection, all had slowly led to ITs own dehumanization.  IT no longer bore any connection to humanity for me.  IT was now just IT, nothing more than an inanimate pronoun, less than an idea.   IT had certainly not resembled that which IT once did, that which I had taken into my life so intimately, for quite some time.  I was overtaken by compulsion –  IT had to die.

I could taste the blood in my mouth from biting my tongue all these years.  I suddenly had an unquenchable taste for the blood – bloodlust they call that.  As my closed fist swung through the air, as my hand opened and released IT to crash on the floor, I felt no remorse for IT.   There was not an iota of compassion in me for IT, not an ounce of regret for the damage I was doing to IT.  I actually enjoyed watching the life-light leaving IT.

I watched myself in dispassion as without my command my foot kicked IT hard.  I was unhappy with the lack of painful scream emanating from IT, so I kicked IT again and again.

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Theme Change

I like this one better for usability, though it’s not as pretty in some ways.

It’s called Twenty Eight Thirteen, the old one was Andreas04.

I’ve already moved on to Andreas09 (like a day later).

And now I’ve moved on to Garland.  I think I’ll stick with this one.

I Dun Learnt Her Good

Sex, Sex, and more Sex

by my little girl.

Please stop by and offer your insights.


Sometimes a nap is the one thing that makes life more bearable.

Posted in Humor, Life. 1 Comment »

The Man In The Red Dress

Red Party Dress from Target - $19.99Kay and I are just back from the hospital. James won’t go there. I think it’s just too much for him, and I’m OK with that.

Aunt Helen was awake for a while, and was sort of in and out of lucidity. She’s really struggling to speak, but occasionally manages to find the words and force them out. She asked Kay if there were any boys she liked, to which Kay replied, “No. Boys all have cooties.” I’m never really sure how serious she is when she says that, but it’s funny coming from her, and Aunt Helen thought so. She even laughed a little bit.

Going to visit gets harder each time for me. Each visit brings us one day closer to a trip to the ladies’ department at J.C. Penney’s. I’ve mentioned my promise to Aunt Helen before, that I would wear a red party dress and matching pumps to her funeral.

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Silver Wings

The blood trickled proudly. I could feel its pride.

I was stupid in my youth. “Young, dumb, and full of cum” is how we phrased it then, and that’s pretty accurate really.

The silver wings flashed in the bright Alabama sun, as I pulled them from my chest, my wife beaming and also a little concerned she hadn’t done it right.

Celebrations were muted in light of the somber news of that morning that began in Georgia. It was silly that I should be so proud of those wings. It wasn’t nearly as difficult to earn them as it was to earn the blue cord. Yet there was something different about those wings. There was something special about them. They were something even more special in a world of special awards.

I was thinking of Shadow. Shadow would be proud. It was sad he couldn’t make it. I wanted him to be there.

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Three Little Words